Here’s the blueprint I promised you…
I'm not here to help fix you because I swear to God, there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing about you needs to be fixed. You are pretty darn extraordinary the way you are.
However, you do need to remember…
Oh crap, what the hell is she talking about now???
OK, hold on… give me a minute. I know I'm pretty woo-woo, but I'm also extremely practical. So, this will be the most practical woo-woo blueprint you'll ever get.
That's right; I didn't forget about the blueprint.
But first, grab a cup of tea (or your favorite beverage), and pull up a chair because this is gonna be a long one. Sorry about that. I want to ensure you get everything you need, and I promise it will be worth it.
OK, got it, but wait, what blueprint?
Remember yesterday's email (if you missed it, you can find it here.) I said I would show you how to start trusting yourself more so you choose to respond rather than react to situations that usually drive you crazy.
That would be nice, right? And how about if you were…
… at peace more often
… more clear about your purpose and responsibilities
… doubting yourself and your decisions LESS.
… which means you'll be able to say "yes" with joy and "no" more easily without guilt or confusion.
OK, that sounds good too, right?
And guess what? This blueprint will also help you speak your mind more skillfully. You'll discover how to stop judging and blaming yourself and others and keep your heart open and your compassion flowing.
As my mother used to say … “What's not to like about that?”
Ok, I can hear you already …
“Wait a minute, Beth. If there's nothing wrong with me, why aren't I doing this stuff already? Why would you need to teach me anything?”
Well, that goes back to the "You just need to remember…" part I was talking about at the beginning of the email.
Our cultural conditioning — which I've been discussing throughout this email series — has trained us to forget who we really are.
I mean, think about it…
What's a baby like when they're born? Completely natural, right? They experience life as it comes in each and every moment.
They cry and laugh spontaneously, without worrying about who's watching or whether their emotions are appropriate or not. They feel all of their feelings fully.
Everything is new and exciting. Then the training starts — and it begins almost immediately — and slowly; as those babies grow, they forget.
Guess what? We were all babies once.
So, when I say there's nothing wrong with you and all you need to do is “remember,” that's what I mean. We just need to remember who we actually ARE – or at least who we would be without all the training. The good/bad, right/wrong paradigm creates this cultural condition.
This training adds layers and layers and layers over our natural relaxed state of curiosity, presence, and joy.
Boo-hoo. I want my baby back!
I've gotcha! And, of course, you don't have to turn back into a baby. That would go against what I said before, and that would mean there was something wrong with you the way you are now.
And there is nothing wrong with you. Then or now.
(Something everyone on this planet should have on a Post-It note taped to their bathroom mirror, no?)
Here's the deal…
Our cultural training limits us to a tiny set of choices for responding to difficult or challenging situations. We think we have all kinds of freedom, but in reality, we only have three choices.
“Beth, what are you talking about? That's crazy! I make dozens of choices each day.”
First, remember, I said "difficult" situations. When everything's going well, we hardly notice the conditioning. But when things get dicey… three choices — that's all you get.
OK, let me prove it to you.
In most of the uncomfortable or challenging situations we face, these are the only three choices we have inside the good/bad, right/wrong paradigm:
This is the "don't tell me what to do" choice. Here we rebel against the cultural conditioning and good/bad right/wrong thinking. This choice is often made in anger or during confrontations and sometimes contradicts our best interests.
This choice is not a lot of fun, either. Pick this one and you submit to the conditioning. "I'll go along with it, but I don't like it." And then you act in ways some might call passive-aggressive to prove you don't like it. Yikes!
And the third and final choice…
This one is a serious bummer too... Here, you agree with the negative judgment about you. "You're right; I am bad and wrong." This choice often leads to sadness, depression, loneliness, and worse.
A father says, "You've been living here rent-free for too long. You better get a job, or else."
Difficult situation, right, and did you notice the good/bad right/wrong thinking in there?
Let's break it down…
"You've been living here rent-free for too long." <= That means that there IS some good, right, or appropriate amount of time.
"You better get a job.” <= Because it's good to have a job and bad not to have one.
"or else.” <= The Punishment.
Remember how I said in the last email that in a good/bad right/wrong culture, if you are “bad” and “wrong,” you would need to be punished? And punishment can be all sorts of things: dirty looks, the silent treatment, or any physical or mental consequences.
So, in this kind of culture, how do you imagine a person would react to the statement, "You've been living here rent-free for too long. You better get a job, or else."?
If the person leans towards rebellion, it could sound like: "Fine, kick me out. Whatever." (In their best interest? Probably not. Topic for another email :)
Submission might be something like: (with a roll of the eyes) "I'll start looking for a job tomorrow." (Will they really look for a job tomorrow, probably not.)
And agreement might sound like this: "You're right, I'm taking advantage of you; it's just been so hard. Maybe I'm just lazy, but I've been trying. There's just nothing for me out there." (Sad, right?)
Dang! None of those choices sound like much fun, do they?
So how can we start shifting this paradigm and build a new kind of world that would work better for everyone? By first building a new foundation.
Yes, indeed! It's almost blueprint time!
Now the question becomes: What do we need to shift the paradigm? More Choices! Choices outside our typical paradigm.
And what creates more choices?
Distinctions! Distinctions! And more Distinctions!
(Oh crap, she's at it again. What the heck are distinctions?)
I am so glad you asked…
To put it plainly, distinctions make new options available to you. Without new options, you can't make different choices, and then nothing changes.
Same choices = same outcomes.
So, to make new choices, we need to distinguish between what we already know intellectually, what is habitually ingrained in us, and new options we may not be aware of.
This is the point at which things can change, breakthroughs happen, and you start remembering who you really are — before all the training.
So here goes… the blueprint you are about to receive was built with our Distinction Stacking Technology©.
Before you ask… Let me tell you what that is and why it's crucial.
One definition of technology is: Proven knowledge implemented to solve practical problems.
This technology presents you with new options in a very particular order and systematic manner. This method has thousands of hours of testing behind it.
We've done this because change can often be scary, and when we feel scared, consciously or unconsciously, our innate defense system is triggered, and we become resistant, pull back, and close ourselves off from what could be miraculous.
That would seriously suck!
With our "Distinction Stacking" Technology, your inner defense mechanism doesn't get triggered in the same way. You can relax, release limitations, remember who you are, and blossom into a new way of being. All with near-automatic results.
I know that “near-automatic” part might sound ridiculous.
But I gotta tell you … I can hardly believe it every time I watch it happen, but these results have become consistent. After years of verifying the stacking technology, the results have also become predictable.
OK, now you've got enough information to take the blueprint seriously. So here we go…
The Blueprint: (Download your copy with directions, here)
And we all need to build this foundation for ourselves before we can remember who we really are. When we remember, anything is possible! Woohoo!
Imagine what it would be like if you could stop every time you were uncomfortable and choose to focus on what you wanted instead of complaining or grumbling about all the things you didn't want.
“Yeah Beth, I see how that would be less stressful.”
What if you knew you were acting from your chosen values rather than being habit driven? That would make a big difference, wouldn't it?
Seriously! A big difference.
And distinguishing between feelings and evaluations. Knowing the difference between actual feelings like – sad, mad, glad and all the variations of those. And evaluations – all our judgments, opinions, and unquestioned beliefs.
I'm telling you, it is huge when you start looking at this contrast in your life. Knowing that your feelings are just feelings, and the truth is, that they come and go … not to mention the stories we tell ourselves about our feelings – most of those aren't even true – and we let them drive us crazy.
That one alone could change your life.
Then there's the difference between your integrity and all the cultural ideas about morality. If you could separate and choose between those two things… wow!
I mean, really, WOW!
OK, I'll stop for now. Because I could go on and on, but the best thing you can do is, try it out for yourself in your life.
Start from the bottom of the blueprint and work your way up. Each day, take one little distinction into your life. Commit to focusing on that one piece and see if you can notice the difference.
"Distinction stacking" creates near-automatic results because our unconscious mind wants to take the easiest and most satisfying route to a happy and peaceful life.
So, you start making new choices almost automatically and wind up with profoundly different results.
Results you're going to like a whole lot more.
These new choices are more enjoyable and so much easier in the long run. But yes, they do take some time to learn, and there’s definitely practice involved.
The problem so many of us have is we don't take the time to sit down and really go through this exercise... or get the accountability and practice we need.
This leaves us wanting the results, but instead, we beat ourselves up because we don't do what it takes to get those results.
Of course, there is much more to building this new foundation than I could present to you in this email... But what I gave you here could be miraculous if you actually do the exercise.
So, urge you to please try it out, and I'll make it even simpler for you below.
But once you've played around with these distinctions and start to see the difference they make in you and your life, you will have questions.
If you want answers, loving accountability, and a place to practice and integrate what you'll learn with a community of like-minded people, I can help.
I've just put the finishing touches on a brand-new course that will walk you through our proven, step-by-step system using our Distinction Stacking Technology.
This course will help you ditch any overwhelm you’re feeling and help you relax, so you can rediscover, and connect with your inner peace and power, no matter what is happening around you.
It's called Peace, Power, and Purpose. It will be available to purchase tomorrow, Monday, January 23rd. I'll be sending you all the details in the morning...
Keep an eye out for that email...
"See" you tomorrow.
P.S. A quick action item for you: I want you to do a little exercise on a blank piece of paper right now.
Think about the things you're not enjoying in your life, your community, and the world...and write down a minimum of three and a maximum of 10 for each of those areas…
This should be easy because we are all used to focusing more on what we don't want and don't like.
Then start turning that frown upside down.
Look at all your "don't wants" and translate them into what you "do want."
Once you get your ideas on paper, hit reply, and let me know how it went. What did you notice? How did each section feel? What shifted in you? And, of course, anything else that occurs to you.
Why? Because I love hearing from you!
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