3 seriously mind-blowing myths
Have you ever judged yourself or others for not living up to your expectations or felt guilty for not being "perfect?" Or perhaps you've struggled to let go of grudges or to forgive others for their mistakes.
Yeah, me too!
But don't worry; it's just that good/bad right/wrong thinking again! I say don't worry because there really IS a way out of this soul-sucking cycle.
So, let's get right into it...
Remember in yesterday's email how I told you we must get conscious about where we are and what we're doing right now before we can make positive changes that will last? (If you missed any of the emails over the last few days you can find them here.)
Or, to use yesterday's analogy, lift up the floorboards, pull out the crumbling old foundation, and build a sturdy new one - a foundation and house that will last for many generations to come.
That's why I've identified the top three myths that keep us stuck and spinning in this pattern of good/bad and right/wrong thinking.
And definitely stick around till the end because I'll also show you a couple of shortcuts that make getting to our new and quite extraordinary destination a whole lot easier.
But let's start with the myths…
The 3 Myths That Keep Us Stuck in the Good/Bad, Right/Wrong Mode
Myth #1: External Authority
The myth of external authority suggests that specific individuals or institutions have an ultimate say in what is right and wrong, good and bad and that we must trust them to feel safe and happy.
Here's the truth...
Those in power often use the myth of external authority to justify oppressive and harmful practices and silence dissent.
Damn, that sucks!
Yep, it does. And worse, sometimes we think we're making our own decisions, and instead, our culturally ingrained, unquestioned beliefs drive us.
So, we must cultivate a strong sense of our own authority and use it to make conscious decisions that align with our values and deliberately chosen beliefs.
Conscious Choice = True Freedom.
Myth #2: Scarcity
Scarcity is the belief that there are limited resources, opportunities, or even love in the world. We need to struggle and compete to get our share.
Wait a minute… love is not a limited resource. Is it?
No, and neither are many things that the myth of scarcity says are limited. It's actually a pretty, darn abundant world!
Scarcity is often perpetuated by those in positions of power who want to maintain their dominance and control.
Yikes! That control thing is getting to be a theme.
The truth is … there's enough food to feed everyone, enough wealth to provide a basic standard of living for all, and definitely enough love and compassion to go around.
But when we're scared, we horde! It's a primal thing.
And here comes the big one…
Myth #3: Teaching "right" from "wrong" is essential for any civilized society
It's a common belief that without these moral classifications – good/bad and right/wrong - people would do whatever they pleased, leading to chaos and anarchy.
Oh no… that sounds scary!
While it's true that certain behaviors can have harmful consequences for us or others, the concept of good and bad or right and wrong is not absolute. It can vary across cultures and at different times in history.
Things change as we evolve…
… and the changes depend on who's in control.
Oh, crap, there's that control thing again!
And if that weren't enough, here's the biggest problem with teaching about "right" and "wrong" like it's THE TRUTH.
It's not the truth!!!! It's just a moral concept.
So, if you're wrong, you are bad and need to be punished; if you're right, you're good and are elevated and praised.
So, where does this leave the people who aren't in power?
Yup, you got it; they're pretty much screwed!
I swear I'll get to the "shortcut" part soon.
One thing I want to underline about all this ….
The right/wrong- good/bad cultural conditioning I've been talking about throughout this email series affects your life in a big and very negative way.
This pattern isn't some abstract concept that's happening "out there"; it's affecting every one of your relationships. It affects how you feel about yourself and what triggers you and what doesn't. It creates your self-talk, what you can achieve and what's holding you back.
It's the whole Magilla! (OK, that's a weird expression)
And it's also ground right into most of the self-help, communication, personal, and spiritual development courses, workshops, and books you see out in the world.
And I'm not saying these books and courses teach us lousy skills. They are the perfect skills to help us manage this insane paradigm.
But they won't help us build a new house because we're still only painting the walls and not getting to the crumbling foundation.
So, what the heck can we do about all this???
As promised, shortcut time...
First and foremost, as I said yesterday, we've got to understand the problem. That's why I've been sending so many dang emails. (Sorry about that.)
Then we've got to start building our inner authority. We also have to start questioning the things we see and hear and the things that we think we believe. We must clarify what we value and what's most important to us.
When you really get it… That you are your own highest authority, everything changes.
You can relax, start trusting yourself and choose to respond rather than react to the situations that usually drive you crazy.
Life becomes easier to manage. You're clearer about your purpose and responsibilities – no more doubting yourself and your decisions. Because of that, you'll be able to say "yes" with joy and "no" more easily without guilt or confusion.
You'll speak your mind more skillfully. You'll stop judging and blaming yourself and others and keep your heart open and your compassion flowing.
The possibilities are endless…
What I know for sure is that if we all work together to root out right/wrong and good/bad thinking, stay curious, and keep our hearts open (the key to empathy) while fortifying our inner authority, we will eventually build a new house and create a world that works for everyone.
And this is not to say that I've got it all down perfectly. (Because I don't.)
But it is my spiritual practice. And my life keeps getting easier and more joyful all the time.
And if you want that, I want it for you too.
Tomorrow, I'm going to hand you a detailed blueprint for building that house and creating these experiences in your life...
I'm so excited to share this with you.
We'll chat tomorrow.
P.S. I would love to hear about your experiences with the three myths above. Please just hit reply and let me know what you've noticed about them and how you've seen them affect your life or anything else that happens to you.
Or if you still believe any of those myths, I'd love to hear about that too!
And, of course, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to hit that reply button and ask away.
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